As we find ourselves immersed in yet another festive period I would like to share some of my recent research (and as such is beyond contestation ;-) regarding Christmas around the world.
Here are my top ten facts:
10. In the town of Ylikiiminki in Northern Finland a festival is held every year on Christmas Eve where the towns chickens are dressed as their last King, Nicholas II.
9. The indigenous people of the island of Pulau Taam have no word for Christmas, yet have 14 words for underarm deodorant.
8. Until 1974 Santa Claus was depicted in the Belgian media to have a large, benign anal tumour, it was evident in Coca-cola adverts in the Benelux countries until 1982.
7. On Christmas Day in 1993 fourteen Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas, Nevada, committed suicide by consuming a lethal dose of gelatine based gravy granules. All incidents were officially unrelated.
6. Elves were invented by Cornish child genius Colin Barnwell. He was delighted when his creatures were included in the Christmas tradition but died whilst in the middle of a vicious legal battle with the Tolkien estate after he insisted that all Elves in The Lord of The Rings were re-written to reflect his happy, rosy cheeked creations.
5. During the second world war Santa relocated from Norway to Barnsley where he was well received by the local prostitutes and miners.
4. There have been nine reindeer related incidents in Marseilles this Christmas alone.
3. Dean Martin, the famous rat pack crooner, applied unsuccessfully to act as PA to Santa's musical director. Norman Wisdom got the job.
2. In certain areas of Southern Chile they speak of the evil dwarf, Nivvi Pikki, who steals into children's rooms on the 31st December to steal their favourite presents and sodomise their pets.
1. This is my favourite. Since Bear Grylls started his TV show there have been no fewer that 8 million reports of parachuting ninja Santa attacks in Madrid.
Thank you, I'll be here all week. Merry Christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment