The age of discovery

I'm finding it difficult to accept that credit for discovering an already populated landmass can be ascribed to anyone at all let alone that there are those willing to argue who got there first...first that is apart from the indigenous populace who annoyingly were already established.

We all know that Christopher Columbine 'discovered' America in 1942 and that Peter Cook 'found' Austria during the Boer war. I'm afraid I fail to accept that they did anything really of note. Surely Columbine must have noticed that in 1942 there was a World War taking place and that the already established government of America were preparing to send thousands of commando trained midgets in submarines and as such were very busy and did not need discovered.

Likewise when Peter Cook was touring on an Ocean liner with his first mate and comedy sidekick Fletcher Christian a bad storm caused by the untimely eruption of Krakatoa blew them off course and they discovered Austria. For months they lay becalmed in Botanical Bay and were repeatedly attacked by criminal aboriginals, wearing lederhosen and riding on heavily armoured combat wombats. Eventually they pacified the locals with Mars bars and mobile phones before making good their escape just in time for the battle of Mafeking. Again how can Peter Cook be attributed with the discovery of Austria when an already well established lager, drinking culture was present?

I have decided that I will lay claim to the discovery of The Isle of Wight and also Spain, ignoring the fact that both are already heavily populated I see no reason why I should not be attributed with their discovery.

I have no idea why I wrote all of that bollocks, it passed through my mind on the drive in to work this morning.